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If anyone needs me I'm watching the Hunger Games and eating Fruit by the Foot. #matureI am not loving all the goodbyes. I dig the see ya laters. #notanadult

Why Megan Fox In "Jennifer's Body" Is One Of The Greatest Horror Villains Ever - http://t.co/kZXSyJcFKq65 Books You Need To Read In Your 20s - http://t.co/XHNtBCGUot

Sean Kingston did NOT make a song called "Beat It" and then featured Chris Brown!?!??

Girl you've been hitting that treadmill like a freak.
Retweeted by carly f#twomoreseasonsandamovie http://t.co/42XAAE9Egw
Retweeted by carly f

YYYEEESSSSSS “@BuzzFeed: NBC is very close to ordering another season of Community http://t.co/4b1slTFPm8”The audacity! “@BuzzFeedUK: Matt Smith has shaved his head http://t.co/nPIGVLyDFI”@meganganz thanks for the episode last night and the effort to really please the fan base. You rock, don't change. #YearbookQuotes

I'm hoping this isn't the last #CommunitySeasonFinaleCarly, are you really listening to the score of Star Wars while you study? BITCH I MIGHT BE.@chrissyteigen it's just an all consuming type of love. I feel like I'm Ryan Gosling and Reddit is Rachel McAdamsDuh. “@vulture: Is @frank_ocean’s smile the best smile? http://t.co/W4THSw3SHx”

Watching Matt Kemp do this makes my heart melt. Marry me? http://t.co/kxjw0HrLQ4Is everyone cool that I'm obsessed with Demi Lovato right now? That is my treadmill shit.

I am GOING to stab my cat in her god damn face if she wakes me up again

Waking up at 8 am to start drinking is my favorite. #HappySpringFest

Welcome to GB Datone Jones. Bring your warmest jacket. Winter is coming.
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Safety Not Guaranteed is a wicked flick

I want @DonaldGlover to murder my vagina #AmandaBynesTweetTaking a shower while listening to Daft Punk is not recommended. You just come out filthier than before. #wubwubwub

NBA playoff basketball is the titsFirst, the NBA has a 14 year old player with Calvin Cambridge and now Jason Collins. Amazing. #Inspired
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@jordancallahan I had a dream you were dating @johnkrasinski and I spent my time crying in a bus stop with wine. #RealLifeIt's like @espn knows I'm just getting into Mad Men #DonDraperHostsTheESPYsJon Hamm will host the ESPYs. http://t.co/Vkp9VGUtw1
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@KayTeps feel better love! Elevate and think about your next tattoo!@just_jennay hahaha this is too funny. I can just see your face at the realization of what you were looking up.John Slattery is a very dashing silver fox. #MadMen

I underestimated the amount of smoking in Mad Men. Like, I'm coughing just watching it.

Top 10 reasons to visit Portland, Oregon http://t.co/ASPmB0zFAm #lp #travel by @ryanvb
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@MrsCarlyRodgers: Ted Nugent just dedicated a song to 'Murica and I'm so drunk I thought it was sweet. #TeamUSASick way to end the Tigers and Mariners game last night. Way to go Peña! #holdon #makethatplayI'll b donating $500 4 every dropped pass this season 2 One Fund Boston. Now fans can cheer & boo me @ the same time! Also giving $500/TD!
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I know I should start Mad Men, but I'm not ready to make that commitment Netflix. #pushy #toofasttoosoonCan I request these for River Cinema? “@BuzzFeed: Alcoholic Dippin' Dots are real http://t.co/Ps9C4Pbttl http://t.co/yuMjKqQPyu”

My heart is heavy for you Boston. #thoughtsforboston

Happy birthday to my furry boo, Tina! #alreadyacatlady http://t.co/KLJvhLYZDq

Classy Shakespeare play time with @quinn_griffin #MuchAdo"I ball so hard/they ain't prepared. I'm breakin' ankles/Kevin Ware." My rap for @Kayoismynameo #trademarkedThe Best And Worst Celebrity Wines - http://t.co/5mTxoAjh6hSo happy Community took the top spot! #CommunityHuluBestInShow So deserving!I love discussing sex as a mature adult in class. Except I just referenced 50 Shades of Grey. #oops

Here's a very geeky map of all the all the invaded areas of London during the last 50 years of 'Doctor Who' http://t.co/ofJMpTL3t4
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Top 18 experiences in France http://t.co/1uhlE1uppx #lp #travel
Retweeted by carly fI just had a panic attack thinking that they allowed Kevin Ware to get on a ladder. Cool moment though. #NCAAChampSay what you will about Margaret Thatcher, but she was a tough old biddie. #RIPSOMEONE BETTER TELL ME WHAT PIPPA MIDDLETON WAS WEARING WHEN SHE HEARD MARGARET THATCHER DIED OR I'M GONNA THROW UP ON MY NEIGHBOR'S CAR!!!!
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This town just gets smaller and smaller.

@Mikey_OLeary6 @khatcher14221 I didn't puke, but I might have peed a little. It's all good... It's sterile.

@maglo415 Congrats? I still think you're an awesome friend. In our 3 years of friendship, we've been in the same time zone 5 weeks.

@KHatcher14221 Tell Mikey to have a puke bucket on the ready. Evil Dead looks terrifying!@aerickson9 Love you.Midnight movie time! #RivCin@chrissyteigen “@AntDeRosa: Best Charlie from “Girls” write-off idea: “His weird cubby bed collapsed, killing him” http://t.co/kwBRGrbZYr”@Amanda_Andree #AlsAnAsshole http://t.co/Md5Q02DEuV@Amanda_Andree And when did we start taking life advice from Al?? My sigil fucking rules.This house is ready to go #GameofThrones #GoTBelfast http://t.co/FJSF3DCANVCowboys Award 6-Year, $108 Million Extension To Super Bowl–Watching Quarterback Tony Romo http://t.co/jBeXbS3EGr
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Siiiiick. I wanna hit up the Seven Kingdoms and rendezvous with Jon Snow in the North #GoTBelfast #GameofThrones@maglo415 Welcome. #VinoFreakHeard @lollapalooza tickets are selling out like crazy. Glad we hopped on it early @just_jennay ! #Veterans #AugComeSoonerGood. That little man was a dick. “@SportsCenter: BREAKING: Mike Rice has been fired as Rutgers basketball coach.”

Shout out to The Big Diesel @SHAQ getting that jersey retired. Most dominant center in the game. #CanYouDigIt@quinn_griffin 25 Reasons You're Team Matty On "Awkward." - http://t.co/XBUASKGhh7This Is the End has a new red band trailer. @Rihanna falls into a pit and @MindyKaling loves Michael Cera. http://t.co/erVANDMh6b
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I didn't work out today because I was terrified my leg would break #Louisville #MarchMadness

Happy Easter. My mother is a Stepford Wife #DEVILedeggs http://t.co/xoOV5yPhOm

Hey @GameOfThrones I demand a sigil and a cool box of stuff! #HouseFjeld #prettypleaseandacherryontop

Stuck in a hotel for the night. Saved, because Batman & Robin is on! #ArnoldAsMrFreezeThrilled to confirm that I will be moving to France in August!!! #BonjourParis1,000th tweet has to go out to the men in my life 1) My Dad 2) @AaronRodgers12 and 3) @Harry_Styles #duh http://t.co/Z0acmyJ3hc

BAM! @lollapalooza tickets have been purchased! #Psyched #ThirdYearsACharmI love to see a Cinderella story, but I honestly like to watch a great team end it more. #CynicalSoSueMeAll we do is play out @DonaldGlover at the bar until they get mad #JoeBlacksDontKnow @Amanda_Andree

Bloody hell. Bollocks. #BritishSlangDay

Hi North Dakota! Don’t make abortion illegal in your state. Contraception & education are how you reduce it. Ask Rick Perry!
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Yum! “@GQMagazine: Meet April 2013 GQ Cover Star, Jason Bateman: http://t.co/wNQxoiqYEo @BatemanJason”

"I Found You" by The Wanted is a tuuuuune. #iHeartFalsetto

Loved that Heat win. Loved it. Ob. Sessed. #Streakin"Jason Terry" and "Brandon Knighted" are both trending. Twitter, we love you so much.
Retweeted by carly fTaylor Swift's "22" cannot to relate to me. No sweetie, I live paycheck to paycheck. #RealityCheckJessie J is rocking a shaved head. #werk@maglo415 It's only bad if they screen shot it

It's unreal how much I look like Skrillex in glasses #CelebrityImpersonatorHappy St. Patrick's Day! Make sure to wear green in your DUI arrest photo or you'll get pinched!
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I'm so sick of celebrities tweeting their fucking awesome House of ________ chests they got from @HBO concerning game of thrones. #JealousDear Vikings fans, though I loathe you, I beg you to appreciate and love @GregJennings as much as I have these past years.@maglo415 Have so much fun at the concert you can't pronounce! Scope out Dublin for me.I'm too lazy to tweet anymore. I just retweet @BuzzFeed and @AnnaKendrick47My house sigil is a snuggie. #GameOfThrones
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Thanks for the Community props. Never Chang.
Retweeted by carly fRanking Amanda Bynes' 10 Best Acting Roles http://t.co/Oglbit6EkW
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@quinn_griffin Absolutely! #timeturner #futuremrsweasleysWhere to go, what to do #grownupproblemsWhite smoke,new Pope. Black smoke, they are still deciding. Purple smoke, Prince will play an interval hour....
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So excited for my interview. Come on Wednesday! Get here already! #Leggo