What does a drunk walrus and ladies at a Tupperware party have in common?
Elvis paid me a visit in the form of a shadow! http://t.co/fUXbcrMFkc
you're an inspiration to all women....and short people, lol. I can't Wait to see you make history at #mountmidoriyama
I just bought my niece ! #MONUMENTOUR
tickets! She is going to freak out!#August1st
What does a drunk walrus have in common with a woman at a Tupperware party?
once asked me to massage his back with his new back massager. The vibrations made his pants slide down! #buttcrack
I entered SeaWorld’s 50th Celebration Sweepstakes. Now it’s your turn! #SeaOfSurprises
The time my sister's ex-boyfriend sent her a letter from prison that said " I think we should start seeing other people"! #awkwardbreakup
If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars http://t.co/C9U5NOtGap Retweeted by Wendy Manners
"hold me closer Tony Danza"#misheardlyrics
"Big old jet in a line up"
was the JAM!@jimmyfallon
Congratulations! Your 1st show was the JAM!!! You twerking-not so much! :)
My toilet flushes,do you wanna go back to my room? #OlympicPickupLines
My friend was starting a bet at work, she advised to me to bet on #3
Seth Meyers takes over The Tonight Show. #worstadvice
If someone says they love you and you don't feel the same way, say "I love youtube" really fast! #worstadvice
the text Tom read is the one you sent from Kristine's phone.@Andy
Stassi how do you feel knowing the text Tom read on Jax's phone was the one you sent from Kristin's phone.
Its so hot that my boobs ran out of sweat! #itssohot
u better redneckognize Honey Boo Boo comes on tonight!! #mamajune
will u please give ur biggest fan Kasey Crowel from Texas a shout out on @jimmyfallon
tonight?My sister @tinapadar
won tickets to see @tatestevensctry
next weekend in Crosby, TX with meet and greet passes. She can't wait to meet him!!
My sister @tinapadar
just won tickets to see @tatestevensctry
I want to go to Mexico with @vgunvalson
Mom: can u stop & get me some paper. Me: college ruled? Mom: no, zigzags. #pothead
sometimes u should drink water to surprise ur liver!
showed your hiccup video on his talk show tonight!
game just to see if @jimmyfallon
puppy race is 1 step closer to being scientifically proven! #puppypower
Funniest moment of the night...I'm telling crowd trees don't need hugs, lone voice among 5000 people, 'I NEED ONE'...nice one... #UncleSi Retweeted by Wendy Manners
I never knew @gin_wigmore
existed until tonight- SHE JAMS!!!!
Praying for the students at Lone Star College in Houston.
ur liver said that joke was lame. But I laughed my Texas ass off!! #teamcountryashell
can u get ur dude @adamlevine
to send my chick @KCrowel
a holler? She was his fan when being his fan wasnt cool! Lmao
doesn't flush toilets, he scares the sh*t out of them!!!
Can't go wrong with Stars & Studs! ❤ http://t.co/Py8NEAbo Retweeted by Wendy Manners
just noticed u are following me! Im so silly, cuz this just made my day! :) Woot! Woot! #richredneck
"the old & the restless" lmmfao!! #RHOM
Reunion has made Ana my favorite housewife of alltime!!
"ur best work was done on ur back" caught me off gaurd, I am still laughing!!!:)
im sad! Gonna miss u sick twisted f*ckers!#compliment
are u still gonba throw a big party!!! #richredneck
you are about to be a rich redneck!! #tatenation
are u ready to be a millionaire? #tatenation
I heard it in the judges house round. I love the way u sang deep on the word "good", reminded me of Pantera. #bringbackmetal
I just seen a Christmas Tree drive by with a Smart Car straped to it!Prayers going out for everyone affected by todays events. #PrayForNewtown
sweet if @shemarmoore
was in a burning building, would u have time fo that?
are u & Jason still having issues with ur success?
scales scare the sh*t out of me! Or maybe its the cleanse pack!! Lo@adamlevine
can u give my friend Kasey C. from TX a shout out? It would make her day!!! She doesnt have a twitter acct. But she loves u!!!
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree, why must u run my light bill up?
is going to be a star, whether he wins x factor or not! But he is definately gonna win! #tatenation
I need u to do me a favor. Please shave ur face for my friend Kasey! She digs u alot more when u r not "scruffy"! :)
in the darkness & silence the only question that remains is "Who farted?"
I am THANKFUL for my family, my friends, laughter, love, kindness, every breath I take, & every smile I put on someones face.
I think "silly" is a silly word!:)
"I heard it through the grape vine". When did grapes start spreading rumors?
thanx to ur AMA performance my 3yr old daughter is bouncing off the walls & trying to dance like u!! #ama
doesnt flush toilets, he scares the sh*t out of them!!!:-) #GAMEDAY
heartburn should start soon if not already:( u can go into labor anytime after 37wks! lower back pain could =labor
u blew the competition out of the water this season!
just seen a commercial for house shoes. Thought of u! U gotta check them out! http://t.co/hwgcGVsd
did u ever give up nicotine or is ur calendar covered in ants? :)
do u have a tape worm? U know ur supposed to rinse pork b4 u cook it! Lmao
why r u getting all "fillasockful" now? Lol get it?
at both places u had to watch ur back side! Lol
I lost 3lbs with the help of My Skinny Girl Daily Pack! P.S. Scales scare the sh*t out of me- or maybe its the clense pk! Lol
kayden kane kennedy...... KERMIT! LplPlease RT and watch Love In The Wild tonight. 9pm. ET and 8 pm Central. NBC. I'm back, bitches! Whoop whoop! Retweeted by Wendy Manners
george clooney stars in the descendants@WheelofFortune
george clooney stars in the decendants
I though RYAN worked 4 u! So is he like a groupie! Lol jk@Kimzolciak
ur real hair makes u look like a soccer mom, BUT ur wig makes u look FABULOUS!!! #wigalways
travel & end of the road@WheelofFortune
gravel & end of the road
New Amazeballs episode of Giuliana & Bill tonight!!!! Style network at 8/9c. Retweet to win a piece from my closet:) #GandB Retweeted by Wendy Manners
About to watch @Bethenny
4yrs ago today, I took a helicopter to the Grand Canyon, stood on a peek 300ft above the Colorado River & married my soulmate!
YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A ROCK STAR!!!! Congrats! I cant wait to JAM to ur 1st album!
I AM OFFICIALLY A SKINNYGIRL!!! http://t.co/oxKocH4N
respect, honesty, & independence
in tonights episode do we see u without ur wig?!!!
I cant wait to see you all 10yrs from now on America's Most Wanted, Hoarders, & The Biggest Loser!!