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Fred Beukema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

184 Following   319 Followers   2,856 Tweets

Join Twitter 5/3/09

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Best summer wx I can remember RT @andyrathbun: Twin Cities: 2 90+ degree days this yr (last yr: 19). If holds, fewest since 1981 #mnwx
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@MyLittleBloggie for putting the onus of (specifically) rape prevention on victims. Maddening. (2/2)@MyLittleBloggie Should add part of my reaction is that "I lock my doors" is lately infuriating for how often it's used as argument (1/2)@MyLittleBloggie I do, too, but that's not the analogy. This is paying someone (Floyd Home Security?) and them not doing their job.@MyLittleBloggie Apple's failure, and violation by the hackers. Victims had reasonable expectations: http://t.co/6tGvj5Lkt0@ncroal Here's a question. How is it so many people "Wrote the article?" Are the theorists lumping many discrete articles into one?This sign is supposed to show you which things are forbidden. But it actually creates the coolest dog ever. http://t.co/kCL9RYnDWx
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A decade ago it was popular to predict the appearance of a gaming TMZ. Today my money is on the reactionary arrival of a gaming FOX news.
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@kumailn Pullman now. I can’t even.
@johnmoe Wendell appears to be a midpoint between you and Nic Cage.@drewgmackie Doing so in late May?@thegynomite it’s supposed to make him look badass or mysterious or something, but just makes him look like a MRA. Anti-marketing.
Never heard of The Dunning school until this week. Thanks .@tanehisicoates for showing me an academic villain!Can't wait to read Marc Thiessen's op-ed arguing that ISIS didn't torture Foley and others and that it was merely "enhanced interrogation."
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@frankcifaldi @laura_hudson Seems like a list worth growing!.@tvoti .@AlyssaRosenberg Here's a thing I wrote about the fabula/syuzhet idea years ago: http://t.co/qpPQhHk3xz.@tvoti .@AlyssaRosenberg Y'all familiar with "fabula" and "syuzhet'? Russian formalist terms, useful in Hello Kitty / Sopranos convo.@TimOfLegend @ValiantCheese Suicide Suggestion is the least metal Ozzy song.Hello Kitty died at the end of the Sopranos. Tony Soprano is a little girl, not a cat. #predictabletweets@PatrickRothfuss @scalzi Woah: they carry anthologies and autographed copies at the damn airport?@GrinnellCollege Confused. Wasn't music major. Took Trumpet lessons for credit '00-'01 -- included in tuition? Slightly increased tuition?
@drewgmackie I was finally chased away from the show by Brawl in the Family and the episodes that preceded it. Just wasn't fun anymore.@drewgmackie Terrible episode. Just terrible.@drewgmackie - which is that?@beukema I thought this was the year @kumailn's Comp Sci degree would finally pay off.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaInternet. Stop what you are doing. We have new word meaning dickhead. https://t.co/XuE1k8QTUZ
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe Star Tribune asks, "What's your favorite way of getting to the fair?" As a prizewinning piglet in the arms of a 4H kid.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe Emmy for Best Actor in a Comedy Series over the last five years: Jim Parsons, Jim Parsons, Jon Cryer, Jim Parsons, Jim Parsons
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@kumailn liar.
Once you look at Jaime Lannister in real life it's very hard to stop looking at Jaime Lannister in real life. #Emmys #jawline
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@ClackyJ nominated me. I nominate @octoberdandy, @litwille & Whitney D-H (cc @westwind1979) #IceBucketChallenge http://t.co/vZ5YQ3TxTG@TPM Pew should spend some more time playing video games with jerks on Xbox Live or Steam.
@Nocturne_City @tanehisicoates Too many young white men look up to the characters on Breaking Bad. That show is hurting the white community
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@tanehisicoates Their community needs better role models. Too many young white thugs looking up to Tony Montana and The Joker.
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@fivemanjob We went last night. It’s fucking great.@tvoti Also, Run Ronnie Run.@johnmoe Please Please Me. All is subtext.@ncroal if these dudes addressed mainstream NWS media Yellow Journalism with their incisive efforts, certainly civilization would be saved!
Last "Monorail" tweet: about 4 times a year I pitch jokes involving the Escalator To Nowhere still existing. Some day. #EverySimpsonsEver
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@jamieroling @ShawnElliott @BenKuchera Also, too, I hear some of these "journalists" sometimes pay for games at retail! SO CORRUPT! #wakeup@dbrauer Huh. That's strange. In general, she sounds pretty no-nonsense.@dbrauer Cautiously optimistic about the new principal.
@TheAuracl3 @tanehisicoates And include TNC’s black-on-black crime piece on that site, too!@TheAuracl3 @tanehisicoates I want a clearing house we can use that compiles the actual crime rate and birth rate stats for handy fisking.@johnmoe Just so I'm clear: Getting a sibling?@mikefotis The return of the Brown Lion!Great “@joenewsman: Oakland demonstrators are holding mirrors up to the faces of police officers. #Ferguson http://t.co/iQsM4y16wL
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Sad to find out independent Michael Brown Medical Examiner is same guy saying pot could have made him "act crazy".Person A: [bigoted statement] Person B: The fuck? Person C: Now, now, let's have civility. Dear C: You came in one statement too late.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaMaybe the cops suspect Officer Wilson is in disguise so they're arresting random people in the hopes that they find him. #Ferguson #Optimism
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@thatlevi @sewardcoop Nice. Best of luck!@thatlevi - whereabouts? (I'm not helping)The trick is not condoning bad media when it helps you make your point. Demand better. Demand journalism https://t.co/fb4BbFtFTO
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In case you had forgotten. http://t.co/u0TZQHY8Qe
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaIf history has taught us anything it's that history has taught us nothing. #humans
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI think tweeting may just be the modern form of prayer.
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@TonyBiasotti @tanehisicoates English is messed up. Put Celtic, Latin, French, German etc on a small island, shake vigorously for 1000 years
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@tanehisicoates My HS senior year French teacher took 2 weeks off of the language to do English grammar for this reason. So helpful.@tvoti would be fascinating but impossible to ever find out if it got played.I knew it! I said, "He must have stolen some cigars!" Of course the police had a right to shoot him! In America we execute shoplifters.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@thatlevi Knock knock. Who’s there? Giant Photo. Giant Photo who? Just kidding it’s goddamned hand drawn!
Hey @TPM, is there a version of your twitter feed that only repeats headline links a couple times instead of >1/2 dozen? Asking as a fan.Guy in charge of prosecution -> MT @phampel STL Co prosecutor called me: "Nixon replacing Chief Belmar w/ Capt Johnson illegal, disgraceful"
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@mikefotis Portlandia's filming this month. Hang out at the feminist bookstore and wait for them to come to you.@dbrauer: 13.6% loss? Should've been higher, sure, but by now I feel like most Mpls voters are getting well-practiced at not voting for him.Entenza wound up spending $20 per vote; Honour $50 per vote (or as I like to think of it, 5 million minimum wage fees at the Oasis Cafe)
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI think we can all thank Quentin Tarantino for, in Jackie Brown, preserving mid-90s Sam Goody for posterity."Why do black people always protest by destroying goods?"—White people who literally named a political party after throwing tea in the ocean
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@Quinns108 You overly-effective jerk! Your glowing review caused the game to sell out on my continent before I could buy it.@Asmodee_USA any chance Consulting Detective will get a reprint now that it’s super sold out?Robin Williams’ Fans Spontaneously Turned The “Good Will Hunting” Bench Into A Memorial http://t.co/eDT9g28szA http://t.co/JvYjSbTGRy
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@SonyClassicalUK @TopScorePodcast Available in the US as well?I said it yesterday. The police let this escalate so any force used would be justified. So that #MikeBrown's death would be justified.
Retweeted by Fred Beukemahttp://t.co/CRBmyOgCwD
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaKeening for Robin Williams. Carol Burnett and Robin Williams -The Funeral http://t.co/8qzZgnmJ5A
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI think of meeting Robin Williams at least once every week. Today is the only time it made me sad. RIP. You made the world better.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSo I guess I'll say it now. Robin Williams, you have made me laugh & cry. It is an honor to meet you & have me introduce you to the stage.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHe got off stage & said "Thank you! I needed that tonight." I wanted to say something about how much he meant to me. I said "Anytime Robin."
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI was like "2 minutes?" Before I finished speaking his hat & coat were off. "Ok 2 minutes." He went on stage & was fucking hilarious for 15.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema"You're the funniest guy & the only performer I've loved my entire life!" Instead I said "You wanna go up?" He said "Just here to watch."
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI was hosting meltdown. I went backstage & he was standing the green room. He said "Hi I'm Robin." I wanted to be like "Yah I fucking know!"
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI've erased & retyped & erased so many more thoughts about Robin Williams. So I'll just say I feel very sad.
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@XFilesFiles Making of the X-Files opening: http://t.co/ua6loiYma1@XFilesFiles - The End of UFOs: http://t.co/2IUDH5kUf1
There Will Be Bowling-Pin-Produced Blood #FilmsClarified
@leighalexander Show him a random episode from mid-season-2 NOW to break him of this habit quickly.I had high hopes for SketchFactor as an app that would help me avoid the parts of town where people do improv sketch comedy.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaBuskers of the world! Consider taking "Heart of Gold" down an octave. That is all.Should be fabulous ISS view tonight. 8:57 PM, Visible: 6 min, Max Height: 63 degrees, Appears: WSW, Disappears: NE
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My four year old told me she hopes that she dreams about love tonight so she could learn to like me again after I cut her waffles wrong
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@dbrauer Man do I wish we could ditch the tipping system in this country. Yet another way for workers to be shafted by public ignorance.
I.e., they're still taking home less in real $ than in 2007, just not as much less. Sorry your free ride is slowing down restaurant owners.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaAssuming min wage has been at the Federal min of $7.25 since '07, a 75¢ "jump" in 2014 is 1.5% per year. Average annual CPI ↑ since '07? 2%.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaIf you're worried about Ebola, which 100‰ of scientists say don't, but not climate change, which 97% say do, reflect on your choices.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaMy taxes are so high I can barely afford this $13 beer at this stadium my taxes paid for so the owners wouldn't have to pay taxes.
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@kumailn The trailer was a sufficient feelings wringer.@ericknobel Also, Gordon's a dick.@ericknobel Well met. Are both the kids into it?
“To.” “To.” http://t.co/Y2cpspo57v
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