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Fred Beukema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

187 Following   359 Followers   3,670 Tweets

Join Twitter 5/3/09

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@stoatno1 please tell me this hasn’t been a work of short fiction.I love that the final season is driving us to uncover how tight the world-building of Pawnee, Indiana really is. (Apropos of @sepinwall)@AlyssaRosenberg Possible wrong-headed backlash against the also wrong-headed oldster chuckling about Kanye fans not knowing McCartney?@AlyssaRosenberg Wait, liking the Beatles marks you as unforgivably old? The hell they say!Let's remember these morons in the broiling decades to come. http://t.co/dbbkNjenc6
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThings you completely change your mind on from childhood to adulthood: 1. Snow 2. Naps
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/26
2015
@soniasaraiya Many have floated backlash from the Oscar. But I think that if HBO had entered TD as a miniseries, he'd have won everything.Hey @kumailn @XFilesFiles Do It For Scully http://t.co/tzan6mbHLm@cwethern @midtown96 Wait, what?
1/25
2015
Oh dear God http://t.co/9AxVFo2Ibc
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaAlmost ready to start accepting submissions for my "10 Under 10" program, my list of the most influential children in business.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@lawremipsum This was my first thought as well. Can't win the argument against new ToS and blocking? There is another way!Hard to believe that Skymall's shrewd strategy of "Things no one wants made very difficult to purchase" didn't pay off.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWait, so explain this to me: sororities AREN'T allowed to throw parties currently? Campus Greek culture is weirdo.@lawremipsum There was a time in the 00s where I looked to WI as a bastion of liberalism. Wow. Keeps getting fucking elected. Remarkable.
1/23
2015
PROOF! https://t.co/12Vle9eLFoSIGHARGHSIGHARGHSIGHARGH RT @sarahkliff: lol wut. http://t.co/LPL6H1sS2I
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@pewinternet For the sake of many, many people, I truly hope not.@AmSci Thank you, so much, for this turn of phrase.Seems like there are a lot of emotional Jenga towers on Twitter who consider blocking an act of violence.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaOn this day in 1962: car goes over the St. Paul High Bridge, falls 75' on telephone wires, rebounds into the air, and safely lands {@mnhs}
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/22
2015
Fun fact about last night’s Parks & Rec: that janitor has been listening to that Shania Twain song for at least four seasons.@MontanaGrp @stoatno1 @stp Figured this out: overinflating = adding more molecules of air = increasing the weight.I'm an idiot: when you inflate a ball above atmospheric pressure, you're cramming more air in the volume = it weighs more. Duh.If the first check the NFL did for deflated balls was to weigh them, they deserve any and all cheating that happened.I mean really, just nonsensical.Unclear how this curmudgeon actually wants to experience music. Cassettes?(!) Home vinyl/portable mp3? Wax cylinder? http://t.co/oGyVFRbihm@mizbusybody Why do cabs turn on their light when they CAN'T take a fare? Opposite would make nighttime hailing easier. Counterintuitive.Hey @CheyCab - why do cabs turn on light when they CAN'T take a fare? At night, would make finding/hailing easier if other way around.Never understood why cabs turn on a light to make themselves more identifiable at night when they are not available for a fare.@TPM I look forward to the White Spy's searing and impartial indictment of the Black Spy.One of the things I like best about this WH is their resistance to being drawn into clash of civilizations nonsense.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@drewgmackie Nugget. Wonderful nugget.All those new adjuncts at free community college are really gonna appreciate that bump in minimum wage.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaIt's one thing to be against Obamacare, it's another to be a millionaire booing in public about millions of people gaining health coverage.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/21
2015
"Only at Grinnell do you get applauded for coming back from the bathroom." @tanehisicoates
Retweeted by Fred Beukema15k mi/yr / 20mpg / 12 X .1 = $6.25 so yeah “@JPSantori: Dibble: 10 cents gas tax hike is avg of $5 a month. Not 1000s/year. #katocapitol
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@andymn We all know that in Cedar Riverside, bars, music venues & theater festivals all fail because terrified non-Muslims stay away.@johnmoe I prefer his hilarious turn in Glory.
1/20
2015
Amidst all the "I have a dream" gloss overs, reminder on what MLK says about moderate whites (aka today's Dems) http://t.co/EgOkEsgDHO
Retweeted by Fred Beukemavia @minkumedia, the chicago tribune on king’s marches in chicago in 1966. http://t.co/os1nO9G0Ur
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@io9 does it sometimes take me away from the post I'm reading to a random, other post? [2/2]Hey @io9, why when I'm reading an article and click in big empty white space to bring Firefox back to being active, [1/2]@benjotron @gmail I'll gladly favorite this one again.That'll do it. MT @Variety: .@MTV is airing programming in b&w today in honor of #MLKDay http://t.co/Okm5CZHBFH http://t.co/6xJygEDftD
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@lawremipsum Good man.@lawremipsum Hate for ME3, for ME, or for dudeshep?Added bonus: check out @AdamLevyGanesha + @AndTheProfs performing "Turn of the Century Recycling Blues" http://t.co/DkbPfli7oy #MNOriginal
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/19
2015
@fivemanjob butane in my veins and I’m out to cut the junkie?It is detrimental to the current movement to forget that when he died, #MLK was an enemy of the state, not a national hero.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema4yo is a very sensitive kid, attuned & empathetic to the emotional lives of anthropomorphic heavy machinery. #reallyuseful #canwebuildit
1/18
2015
If this tweet gets 50+ retweets, a random retweeter will receive this wooden Twin Peaks Great Northern Hotel keychain http://t.co/gibGjL61yA
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/17
2015
@RobinKimball was it the title track or a different one making it dusty? #fiveyears #moonagedaydreamMore Gum We Like Is Coming Back in Style: Two Familiar Faces Announce Return to #TwinPeaks. http://t.co/iQduNfbU5p
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaS. Mpls Community Alert: There's a kid outside with a Hot Cocoa stand at 43rd & Lyndale. Act accordingly.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@lawremipsum It really is such a fucking crap shoot.@TPM Facial recognition drills? What the hell does that even mean? And what on earth would it have to do with shooting practice?
1/16
2015
.@DthomasJournals And who says we as a society cannot effect positive change? https://t.co/FRUWGmfoUT@SarahJPurcell @GrinnellCollege @tanehisicoates I so wish I could be there. Somebody bring TNC to Minneapolis, please!@kumailn And Foxcatcher was an extremely well-directed non-film!When voting boards are made up of retirees, awards can never reflect the present, let alone the future.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHey DT St. Paul workers, you have through tomorrow to get bfast or lunch from Jason, the masterful cook at D. Brian's. He will be missed!Thank goodness that Edward VIII's advisors weren’t around to undercut the “King’s Speech” Oscar campaign.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe 2015 Oscars. Brought to you by delicious Cream of Wheat. Also sponsored by Premium Saltines and Prego Alfredo Sauce.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI should probably check to see if s coworker designed that, actually.“Can we make some part of it always point at the rising sun during rush hour?” - designers of Hwy 55, apparently"Fancy Party" isn't even the best P&R episode from that season! http://t.co/cAEQ2uiGDH (it's "Flu Season")
1/15
2015
The 13,000 people who signed this petition asking Obama to fire Ted Cruz don't understand how our government works. https://t.co/ZgCYrJgGFX
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@fivemanjob @SFtheWolf This is great. Last week some dude BOFA'd Richard Dawkins. The world has a lot of magic left to show us.@TheMarySue @NASA Read this initially as NSA and was briefly disturbed.@TPM BWAAA-hahahahahahahaaaaa!
1/14
2015
@DthomasJournals @MPS_News Ugh.@lawremipsum There’s a hole in the sky Through which things can flyNote to self. http://t.co/6Zo9L54kRc9. By combining reprinting plus critique, Spiegelman showed path out of this problem: bad speech has to be answered by more speech.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@TheQuinnspiracy Ironic that folks claiming that "SJW" critics want to legally restrain game culture might inspire legal constraints on web.god forbid elizabeth warren work in the senate for 20+ years and move that body more to the left. no, you all have presidential obsession.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@ncroal If they ditch the movie star bit and do it as a sequel to Gone Girl, I'm in.@munsongs Are they on Twitter? Should they be @-ed?The comment was about restaurant owner complaining servers were making $15 an hour. That’s $30K a year FTE. If you’re bent about that, FU.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThey're just happy! Are you going to honestly tell me you've never gotten so excited you torched a car? Cute kids ☺️
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaComplaining is bad for your brain. http://t.co/kWdbg0j6kP http://t.co/K7iZ7UKu02
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/13
2015
I can only assume it's @GillianA's secret private twitter account. 2/2 #XFILESIN2016My tweet about how @kumailn should be in a hypothetical Xfiles relaunch has 1 retweet from an apparent locked account I don't know. 1/2If #XFILESIN2016 were to happen, surely there could be a part for @kumailn somewhere in it?Welcome back to #TwinPeaks Special Agent Dale Cooper! @Kyle_MacLachlan returns in '16 on @SHO_Network #damnfinecoffee http://t.co/vTphDLvR0y
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI would say that comforters are far superior to quilts but I really don't like to make blanket statements like that.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaTOTALLY NORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT: we're releasing new DLC tomorrow. ;) Foo Fighters, Avenged Sevenfold, & Arctic Monkeys! http://t.co/JoUVnfBQzB
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI'll say it again, as many times as I need to. At least 2000 Nigerians were murdered in Baga by the hands of Boko Haram.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/12
2015
social experiment: whenever a boy compliments you, agree with him. http://t.co/rb8S4VQMCj
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/11
2015
Islamic extremists murder 16 in Paris: #JeSuisCharlie Islamic extremists murder 2,000 in Nigeria: Silence But #AllLivesMatter, right?
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWell done @lawremipsum.
1/10
2015
A disgusting, vile sentiment, whose logic is ghastly https://t.co/yECXZcU2if
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@kesslovesrobots @fivemanjob @ericknobel @Hellendrung when we sing him the song, Max makes us stop so he can recite the roll call.@fivemanjob @ericknobel @Hellendrung I get that he’s red and black, Butch, but I hope this wasn’t personality-based. #vainbutnotmuchfun@ccolin @johnmoe @mikefotis @ClackyJ @rickloganhaha @mariabamfoo @jefe23 Woah, thanks, Colin. Exalted company.Don't let them loop you into this "Western Civilization vs. The Barbarians" nonsense. Last month, they were defending torture.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/9
2015
@mikefotis It's pretty good, right?!@mikefotis The movie?Charlie Hebdo Is Heroic and Racist. We Should Embrace and Condemn It. http://t.co/atbZxkqR1N
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
1/8
2015
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