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Fred Beukema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

175 Following   291 Followers   2,513 Tweets

Join Twitter 5/3/09

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@mikefotis - We must respect and fear The Wild. We all know what it did to that college kid in the school bus, and that dude with the bears.@kumailn WHAT is happening?
4/25
2014
I used to think Cliven Bundy was cool when he was just advocating the armed takeover of the US government, but now he's gone too far.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI mean, who DOESN'T want to pay a bunch of money to ISPs that won't upgrade their infrastructure and just give themselves bonuses instead?
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaDo you enjoy paying for toll roads where once there was a freeway? Then you'll LOVE the new FCC rules on Net Neutrality!
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/24
2014
@ClackyJ oh man. You first told me about the booty butt repetition like three weeks ago. That sounds hellish.@gamespite - That was fast.A chicken sandwich is a backup quarterback you can eat.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/23
2014
The most evil thing a human being can do is say "bless you" to someone while they are still in a pre-sneeze state.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaOn 6/20, oh I'm gonna love this one, from Silicon Valley and Portlandia comic/actor @kumailn with the amazing @TheValerieJune! @wits
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@johnmoe @kumailn @TheValerieJune @wits - fantastic.3:37AM. Just Googled "dinosaur train why don't they eat each other" in case you're wondering who is raising tomorrow.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@leighalexander For fun, start with R+L=J. Then, the prophecies that aren't even in the show.@leighalexander Do them in reverse chronological order.
4/22
2014
@johnmoe Warren Zevon's "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner" and Zappa's "Uncle Remus." #2perfectsongs ... No, wait...!@tvoti - and additional ambiguity most of the way to matching the book's scene would have been just an ADR session away.@fivemanjob - Half a year. Last week was a nice round number of weeks, but this is cooler.@TPM 45 Republicans in the Senate isn't cool. You know what's cool? *67* Republicans in the Senate.@tvoti - @sepinwall quotes Alex Graves suggesting it intended to read as emerging consent, as in book. If so, they failed!@bravenewgrrrl - Kate, you should know I specifically associate this structure w/ you. Take as a compliment on having cornered the market.@leighalexander - this one here: http://t.co/myx7vsoQUQ Wow did it not read on screen at all like he described.@leighalexander: @sepinwall has quote from episode director suggesting it was supposed to be like the book. If true, they failed greatly.
4/21
2014
@MyLittleBloggie Ah, thanks. Understood and agreed.@MyLittleBloggie - Draw that out, please, regarding players? I get it regarding athletic dept, who cocked this up all along.@MyLittleBloggie whoops: these are college kids, not HS. Same idea, though.@MyLittleBloggie No deeper resistance to change than high schoolers faced with one in coaching. See also: Washburn HS 2013.@johnmoe "I'm going huggy"
4/17
2014
@mikefotis @acmevalley "Garden of Angel Flowers" is played out. I need a new one!The Minnehaha brass bunny tried to kill me https://t.co/zMu7WhZyBm
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe reason winter lasts so long is because you jerks call early spring winter anytime there is solid precipitation.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/16
2014
@stribgillespie @dbrauer Five words, full stop, your tweet's complete.@RobinKimball - Did you confront?
4/15
2014
@chrislhayes Probably close to the percentage of same-night HBOGo watchers who are working with borrowed passwords.@josheakright Keep her away from eagles, wildlings and giant developmentally disabled stableboys.@josheakright Has Steve been looking at you funny while Bee's asleep?@RobinKimball Hopefully what's happening to MN this week doesn't happen to NYC. Had to bump back up a coat weight today.@TPM - Countdown to reveal that this is another Samsung stunt...I see Tyrion's seen Harry and the Hendersons too. #goodbyemyfriend
4/14
2014
@DanHappyFunTime same question but for movies.
4/13
2014
Love this escalator, well played. http://t.co/4Dm5VWDEea
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/12
2014
I love Colbert, but I'm unable to avoid the feeling that this is an innovative guy going to a very not-innovative job, and it bums me out.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaShe tells the stories. We improvise. @lizzo joins us on Monday, June 2nd! Tickets available online at http://t.co/aH7G1pDu6w . #mnimprov
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaMay and June Celebrity shows being announced over at @ShowXImprov today. Go ahead and give them a follow.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaMiss Olson has the gait of a woman who has given birth to a Campbell child. #Hunch
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/10
2014
@BobBensonHere No Pete?@braillewhale and a companion script that undoes it. I think there's a serious market for a "DeUpworthy" Greasemonkey script.@johnmoe and the Antepenultimate Warrior bides his time. The Preantepenultimate and Propreantepenultimate are just happy to be in line."Under the moonlight, the SERIOUS moonlight" is one of Bowie's sillier lyrics.
4/9
2014
@BethKGibbs if you win one, you and @MissMariapants should have award statuette fights.Touchless car washes: ONLY A HALF MEASURE!@leighalexander you see the seeds of the defensive partisanship in the aggressive comparisons to Mario. All so weird.Places fingertip against radio speaker: "shhhhh NPR you don't have to do sports"
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/8
2014
Maryland legislators took $2.5 million away from local arts nonprofits and gave it to "House of Cards" http://t.co/GPQPSzLaqu
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@AlyssaRosenberg The Hound's invocation of the words of House (Omar) Little - purposeful or inadvertent reference?Only sort of a spoiler: Gotta admire Game of Thrones' commitment to bringing back several bit part actors two seasons later.@nprmonkeysee Could be a portion of them on the west coast trying to beat the time shift. Not speaking for m'self, you understand.Via @poniewozik: "It really overburdened the system when Obamacare began allowing children to stay on their parents' HBO GO until age 26."
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSo the True Detective finale was a dry run for tonight, and HBOGo will be smooth as silk, right?
4/7
2014
Happy Game of Thrones Day!
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/6
2014
Attn @kumailn RT @nprmonkeysee: “Kumail Nanjiani in SILICON VALLEY is my favorite new comedy performance in quite a while.“Kumail Nanjiani in SILICON VALLEY is my favorite new comedy performance in quite a while.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe best car ride ever http://t.co/0vXjt5ocGW
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaRT @WonderfulEngr When an engineer gets bored http://t.co/5DgoDHEOIG
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/5
2014
Wow, deep cut, @thatlevi. Nicely done.@playdash sweet. I look forward to it.
4/4
2014
@beukema I might have some happy news for you...
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI've a spectrum of acceptable pronunciations for my name. But don't try out a bunch of different ones during one conversation. #beconsistent
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@dbrauer Oh man. It was my during-the-semester overnight that pushed Grinnell ahead of Lawrence. Students key to Grinnell appeal.@dbrauer - Dang, no Grinnell? Too bad. Good luck in the decision!@Hellendrung I suppose the same goes for the v and the r, then?@Hellendrung Chu-vurches?
4/3
2014
@kumailn Could the second and third seasons of your podcast be about Jose Chung and Home, and could I guest in via Skype?@litwille So the Targaryens have returned to the west?Can’t be coincidence that @TPM comments are out at same time they introduce sponsored content. Eh, @sullydish?
4/1
2014
http://t.co/EMQi4RovU7 How is it that I'm just now hearing about the Silicon Valley wage theft cartel case? Seems like a really big deal...
3/31
2014
If you want to feel like Ellen Ripley, put your outerwear and backpack on in a descending elevator.@AlyssaRosenberg @sepinwall - Not in a position to help, but very curious what fact needs checkin'.Holy crap. Brilliant work by Curtis and Molly. http://t.co/ByadevKboD
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWhite people more heated over #CancelColbert than they are over Dan Snyder trying to buy us off with redskins jackets and hush money. Smh
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@PrestonParty @marcmaron - Every episode should include the guest telling the story about telling Marc about their relationship with Lorne.@AlyssaRosenberg @nprmonkeysee @tvoti @sepinwall - Is anyone doing / CAN anyone do something to archive TWOP before it goes bye-bye?Saturday's 8PM at HUGE Theater is sold out. So you better buy Monday night 8PM @ShowXImprov tickets instead!! http://t.co/8X6jBMHMgK
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
3/28
2014
If Arcade Fire beats out The White Stripes tomorrow in the @TheCurrent March Music Madness everyone involved should be ashamed
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHelp out FirstTech these next couple f days and get in and buy some Apple products before they close. They need help
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@mollybackes - did the conductor explain? I'm waiting for understanding!Too bad Jack Thompson has been disbarred because Leland Yee could use a lawyer
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
3/27
2014
@AlyssaRosenberg Also in the 3rd category, decreasing order: Sarandon & Robbins, Kim & Thurston, Al & Tipper. No more touchstone marriages.Some single guys walk their dogs to meet women. Some toddlers walk their dads to meet dogs.@OnanRulz Used to rate that one higher than most, but a recent rewatch lowered it for me, even as the soundtrack remains my favorite of all.@josheakright Wait, are you blocking him, or vice versa?@OnanRulz #1?
3/26
2014
@dbrauer: Looks like @ChrisWarcraft in a Jimmy Page wig.@MicrosoftHelps Just built a computer with Win7 OEM. Very proud, happy with result. Any way I could get a Win7 case badge sticker?
3/25
2014
@beukema Happy dataversary @beukema.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaNine years ago tonight, I went on a wonderful first date with a cool lady at the Chatterbox. Hooray for @MsBeukema!Tonight! I'll be performing in @ShowXImprov at @hugetheater. 8PM. Be there.
3/24
2014
@MtACast she’s just a big fan of Maytag appliances, is all.
3/22
2014
@LarsenOnFilm @filmspotting - the steamboat from FitzcarraldoTKDA is seeking an AutoCAD Civil 3D expert for our municipal group. Is this you? http://t.co/v0YVdvR7lQ
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
3/21
2014
I rarely post videos, but this Louis CK/Bradley Cooper clip is very, very funny. https://t.co/YwJunJMyAi
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
3/20
2014
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