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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey New York, NY

::a rat a tat tat:: oneninehundredcake on instagram

901 Following   2,227 Followers   6,796 Tweets

Join Twitter 3/9/09

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@captaindingbat sally fields in Mrs Doubtfireif i cut my hair do i ruin me forever
11/20
2014
Peak whenever feels good
11/13
2014
I took a Plan B once and felt nothingwhat if you put chapstick all over your upper lip and ate a clementine cutie? we would be twins
11/12
2014
One little text inviting u to see sideshow and suddenly u are rich
11/11
2014
Does this McGriddle make my Christmas List look big?Give sweating the small stuff a fair chance
11/9
2014
Claywoman interviewed by @erinmarkey!! http://t.co/emHMgNvfkL Get tix to see Claywoman on 11/15 here.... http://t.co/h6DfnqwpRE
Retweeted by Erin Markey
11/6
2014
@SAWdesignBK i have always wanted to perform that courtroom monologue at the end. need you to sign off on it thougham i making this up or is there a scene in patch adams where somebody swims in noodles@JasperRedd your Grimace jokes are making me diiiie@comcomJo it was a candid shot I took of the inside of the rice grainLast night I found the necklace with my name written on grain of rice that I got in myrtle beach in 1996. http://t.co/lk07RF1NXH
11/5
2014
A Kinsey scale but with The Little Mermaid on one side, Phantom of the Opera in the middle and Twin Peaks on the other
11/4
2014
Wet boas everywhere
11/1
2014
This tweet goes out to the girls that take the escalator stairs 2 at a time at Forever 21 on a Friday night. Wassup, babyDidn't realize how much I missed Mambo No. 5 til I waited in line at DSW to buy discount leggings.@jillpangallo is a human geniusWondering if anybody coming to the show tonight has access to the best caramel apples in NYC and could bring an extra for me. I have Reese's@inklines @JoesPub That's what z saidWant to tell my 9 yr old self (dressed as a Xmas present) that I will spend a future Halloween as a raging homophobe on stage at @JoesPub .
10/31
2014
Tomorrow! @JOHNCASWELLJR's GOD HATES THIS SHOW @JoesPub. w/@ErinMarkey, @ajlobster, @ItsToriScott, @glamNcheese. TIX: http://t.co/XwMyvo6Y6e
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyPay My Bells
10/30
2014
If I wanted a cat I would name it cheap umbrella@captaindingbat as u wish@ErinMarkey Allow me to amend. I'm going as a mature adult who thanks her busdriver 3 times for waiting while she finds her 7 day MetroCard@ErinMarkey Strike that. I'm going as a woman who joyously takes yellow cabs and who doesn't watch the route on her cracked droid@ErinMarkey Actually no. I'm going as a punishment that fits the crime.For Halloween I'm going as a gal who treats herself to moving supplies from Home DepotQuit harassing me I'm a human beanDJ Murphy Bed ExpressAnna Wintour spotted outside of Koffeecake Corner acting like she's not #AnnaWintour http://t.co/sGAzwEQRtmFailure is huge right now. I feel so alive
10/29
2014
felt somewhat relevant when NYPD called me about line of baking soda I pretended to do off of a baby's stomach as an unpaid actress 1 yr agomay i kickstart you
10/26
2014
Tonight + Tmrw @ 8pm. Memory Foam at @BAXarts! work by @TheeIrishHorse, @biglar678, #NaomiRaddatz, #EnverChakartash, #NikkiCalonge & me!
10/24
2014
This weekend @BAXarts MEMORY FOAM curated by @ErinMarkey http://t.co/s5O3APIQ95
Retweeted by Erin Markey
10/22
2014
@FeldmanAdam Sad face was for Jan. I am complimented for sure!
10/10
2014
@FeldmanAdam :). :(I'm hungry but I'll have time to eat when I'm deadThis stranger baby will never remember that I watched him while his mom was peeing in a coffeeshop but I will remember it for hours.
10/9
2014
Up next at Forest Fringe: @blobelwarming and @ErinMarkey
Retweeted by Erin Markey
10/4
2014
Hey cool kids, why don't you spare some time and $$$ for @HalfStraddle benefit Sunday @TheKitchen_NYC? They make it happen & are oh so nice!
Retweeted by Erin Markey
10/2
2014
Don't miss @ErinMarkey, Adam Enright, Anna Marquardt, and Tori Scott in GOD HATES THIS SHOW this Halloween @JoesPub. http://t.co/RP2SAho6a9
Retweeted by Erin Markey
9/30
2014
I just made sprite. It was so easy. Recipe passed down from my freezer: 2L sprite + ice cubes* *Ice cubes: frozen bits of compost + water
9/28
2014
I like it when the hulu guy just says real straight-up: Presented by Reese's Peanut Butter Cups b/c that's how I feel about everything.
9/24
2014
my parents never taught me how to breakdance so whenever I get that urge I just hit "Reply All" til everybody starts clapping in unison."A radiator is not a table" remarked the smug cup of coffee as it relaxed onto the floor.
9/22
2014
Quietly farting, she packed her suitcase to return to New York City.Woo! RT@nytimestheater New #nytcriticspicks: "Rock Bottom" with @bridgeteverett @JoesPub (Photo: Sara Krulwich/NYT) http://t.co/tOHvGOSvbD
Retweeted by Erin Markey
9/20
2014
Hungry Butts Eat Sweatpants
9/18
2014
pretty blonde reaches into a golden seashell and has twenty seconds to talk about gun violence #MissAmericadrinking Guinness is like drinking a blanket@VegasLoLay hecklahhh?
9/14
2014
Bottoms up, @BridgetEverett! #ROCKBOTTOM begins tonight at 9:30! Who's rocking out with us?
Retweeted by Erin Markey
9/9
2014
First episode of Rods and Cones is up!!! http://t.co/xmch5Uue4t @wifeytv @Blisick @ErinMarkey @DYNASTYHANDBAG
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyMe & @billycheer got shooshed on Amtrak quiet car so now we are quietly lipsyncing Mariah w/ headphones. There r so many ways to be quiet.
9/8
2014
Come to the opening of my brother @M_Lamar 's show tomorrow night from 7 to 9pm. I will be there http://t.co/kJHuVyPg16
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyIs Miranda Lambert the Don Draper of country music?Voiceover coach asked if I know what vocal fry is. I was like yeah I had 2 helpings at breakfast & I'm still starving. Can I have a Luna bar
9/6
2014
@ErinMarkey PS your ginger boyfriend works in fashion.A NYC bus just tooted "Shave and a Haircut." I'm in heaven.
9/5
2014
I dare you to dare me to buy a hot dog from a cart or even just want one
9/4
2014
you can eat cereal with a carrot but it is sometime hard to scoop the grake nuts with it I wish megan never left
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyToday I am giving pre-recession middle class new york mom-to-be who is keeping her day job for now. #LeCrusset #breastcancerawareness #weeds
9/3
2014
We put our Christmas tree up last night and put a couple gifts under the tree. The countdown begins!!
9/2
2014
Can't decide if I'm the Raymour or the Flanigan
8/30
2014
I challenge the iphone 5s to the ice bucket challengeI challenge Winona Ryder in "The Crucible" to the ice bucket challenge.
8/25
2014
@EricShethar that's a ukelele music book on the bottom right@EricShethar http://t.co/LPkBoYXdqyJust found all my christian youth group guitar tab and women's studies course packs. Dipping rice chip crumbs into some white bean hummus.DJ How Dare He
8/24
2014
Not to get political, but my hair is basically leaking tickle juice all over my face right now.
8/23
2014
@JonRua are you okHEY. AMERICAN GOVERNMENT. IF THERE'S GONNA BE A POET LAUREATE THERE SHOULD ALSO BE A SLUT LAUREATE.
8/16
2014
#YESALLASSHOLES presents @ErinMarkey -- http://t.co/QYTODgtE3c
Retweeted by Erin Markey
8/15
2014
I'm assessing a $300 fine to the DMV for having pee soaked clumps of toilet paper all over the bathroom & I think that makes us even steven!
8/13
2014
a doctor told me the best way to prevent cancer is to watch your fb page for notifications. given the circumstances i have to believe him.
8/11
2014
Need a good recipe for gum salad!
8/10
2014
@tyleroakley bout to eat some gnocchi@NOTCHRISTYLER @TheeIrishHorse I have a moo cowShout out to all my sisters who also adhered a crying eyeball temporary tattoo to their bicep with gin tonight!
8/9
2014
My dog knows more about victimhood than even me. Am I jealous or proud? These are the questions we must ask ourselves as parents.Just curious if any one else besides my acupuncturist knew my pulse was "slippery" and didn't tell me.
8/7
2014
come on http://t.co/mjPaMliTye
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyF/M/K: Chrome, Safari, James FrancoThinking about getting married so I can start having sex finally. Wondering if its worth it. PM meNeed some advice. An egg sandwich food cart's electronic message board is telling me to BE HAPPY. Should I do it?How many police offers do u have to piss off 2 get arrested? One. How many parents do u have to piss off 2 get grounded? One. #numerologyA LIST OF THINGS I DON'T BELIEVE IN Heineken Slim CanA FASHION POEM How many wristwatches would I have to wear at a time to seen capable of committing a white collar crime
8/6
2014
Bo Knows RT@billycheer @tylercoates @kennymellman max that was all Kenny, reading my familial tales for filthRT if u think Olympics used to be bullshit@billycheer @kennymellman @tylercoates phew. A Lion. I'll Follow You Into The Dark."She was on the cover of wheaties" @TheeIrishHorse explaining who Dorothy Hamill is@kennymellman @tylercoates ROGER THAT. TEN FOUR.@tylercoates it was @kennymellman who tricked me in the first place. Who tricked you, Kenny? Was it Death Cab for Cutie?
8/5
2014
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