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seattle childrens hospital, Princeton seminary grad 2008, straight ally of the gays, former Christian, now agnostic maybe? Proud uncle.

467 Following   181 Followers   5,380 Tweets

Join Twitter 10/27/10

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@BillyCrystal @JuddApatow @HBO what a beautiful show...thanks Mr. Crystal@Softykjr ...for the whole season. ๐Ÿ™ˆI'm pretty sure the Mariners are the leading cause of erectile disfuntion@DavisHsuSeattle love it. Buy what you know. Just like the stock market@JosephVeyera @LookoutLanding true to the boo@ProFootballTalk @PFTonNBCSN well if he doesn't want to change he can guarantee himself a spot on the bench.@given2tweet I like it. $$$Cried throughout "Heaven Is For Real" because I could've seen "Captain America" instead.
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@msea1 thanks!@DCameronFG woot!! Congrats Dave- giving us all hope!@based_ball @USSM_Marc @msea1 I mean, can I find it in iTunes?Largest star yet discovered compared to earth http://t.co/6xUiaFsuA4
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinWait there's a guy named Rusty Kuntz?โ€œ@McCulloughStar: Salvador Perez broke Rusty Kuntz's arm with a line drive in BP. Kuntz needs surgery.โ€
4/22
2014
@SteveSandmeyer maybe hara kiri though?@JosephVeyera @MLBcathedrals I think they overestimated park attendance@USSM_Marc hey what's the name of the uss mariner podcast?@SteveSandmeyer how can these guys lay off pitches this close?!@EricStangel Benji yells "Yadier mind?!"@MiniiG OMG. Looks Delish!"I'm Ghandi!" "No! You were Ghandi last time. You be Tony Romo." "I don't want to be Tony Romo!!!" - My kids, playing Cowboys and Indians
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin
4/21
2014
@BrinaMerg what did you do with mushroom man? Did you leave him!? ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณAt this point does anyone believe the NBA isn't just controlling games through officiating?@JonHeymanCBS yepIs it weird that we are eating lamb on Easter? Sort of a slap I'm the face isn't it?@Buster_ESPN no Mariners?? I'm SHOCKED!@AngmilanoMilano @busylizards if you have to ask, you don't wanna know@busylizards @AngmilanoMilano snarled bag can be painful, but fun none the lessThis guy is a dirt ball โ€œ@EmmaJAppleton: Um what http://t.co/KYwBGQ6vzfโ€@AllenADBI @cougsgo yeah but the Smoak walk was a given- try to set up the double play. That Franklin k was backbreaking.#Mariners http://t.co/S6I0Ey32cz
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin#Mariners should be embarrassed. Horrible series. Horrible plays. Bullpen sucks. At bats are pathetic.@busylizards @PeterJohnsonYea @TDUByourBUD @candacemonique uh oh http://t.co/xRGtKKQQ66
4/20
2014
@lkslager ok, when's the next one?Nice match you Sounders!@BrockESPN losses are one thing. These are BEATINGS@DontTouchMyWine c'est parfait@rodmarphoto all year! What a combo@chrissyteigen oh yeah? Does she live in 2006?@adamwc also a JJ Abrams show right?@Biobullstock I WISH they had been closed last week or two..."Hey, can you help me with my balls mate?" http://t.co/qd9LcNSo3l@cougsgo exactly. EVERY NIGHT they make the opposing pitcher look brilliant. Just awful at bats...Mum: maybe I should get Twitter. Can you show me how it works? Me: http://t.co/NEftESEBjJ
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinAudrey Hepburn>anyone else@HistoryInPics DAMNI love the Mariners but I just don't get. Horrible BABIP this week, bad managing, no hitting, poor at bats...๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜ฃ #Mariners@YouVersion people were like "oh, the story in the bible is as stupid as they made it out to be after all"...@avflox @DTheMinion @ShineLouise @CrashPadSeries I know I'm just kidding- but I've never been on a porn set, so...@candacemonique @TDUByourBUD @PeterJohnsonYea @busylizards found Jason a girlfriend with that camel toe http://t.co/xmjPefeaTi@avflox @ShineLouise @CrashPadSeries more info! What's the smell like? I'm thinking lube and salsa?I found @candacemonique a boyfriend! http://t.co/jvMG4QbLDP@AngmilanoMilano @TDUByourBUD yeah, and see if she wants me too@TDUByourBUD @AngmilanoMilano ang you are friends with her, can you ask her if she is seeing anyone?@AngmilanoMilano id love her a lot more of she was dating me@MegaraFurie mountain bomb shelter?Omg, Mark Driscoll just had a Mars hill add on my pandora...what the fuck@given2tweet I tried to read it but didn't want to pay to register- is he just pulling stuff out of his ass on that timeline?@hipchkk lol
4/19
2014
@stephaniedrury The icicle on my roof though?@DontTouchMyWine there needs to be more people like you in real lifeObnoxious Christian t-shirt of the day, bro. http://t.co/ZXiu2FdHlS
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinNew ChristianMingle usernames Jesus_in_the_streets_satan_in_the_sheets Jehovahs_thickness Dip_your_fingers_in_my_holywater Onmyknees4him
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@DougKyedNESN @DavisHsuSeattle @PhilHecken sick@MLGerig lol- I feel like I need to be a prick and ask for nude pics or something. My nice guy motif doesn't get me anywhere.Maybe I need to go all Quagmire on a bitch.I'm either going out with the wrong women or I've learned that being nice, attentive and sweet on a first date is a total failure.I give women all they can handle in the bedroom: panic attacks, thrusts of varying accuracy, crab walk, my Nana's there, ham, I fling poo
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinRT IF YOU'RE TERRIFIED BUT PRESSING AHEAD REGARDLESS
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@TDUByourBUD @PeterJohnsonYea @candacemonique movie? Darts at a bar?
4/18
2014
I can't believe there are people that pay money for porn. Why? It's free...@lkslager nice@OreoSpeedwagon_ maybe not getting raped as the guests carry you off at the end would be good too ๐Ÿ˜ณ@History_Pics so even though the first team wax in New Jersey huh...definitely not Texas@StuffCCLikes I hate how he makes them out to be cowards for not wanting to debate with him. Imagine debating your basic rights with someone@KimGrinolds @Chris_Fetters @UW_Football @Filo_wiz9 what a stupid note.
4/17
2014
I've said it before- but if you love baseball, you gotta catch a Felix Hernandez game. He is the Pedro Martinez of our generation. #greatI'm not worried about Cano- he is hitting 300- but at what point do we worry about Cano?@thereaIbanksy damn...very cool@MiniiG ๐Ÿž๐Ÿž๐Ÿž@ahab_captain @hrtbps I know right??"OK, here are the stats. Make a graph so it looks like gun deaths have fallen since 2005." *graph guy sweats* http://t.co/33XZ4823e5
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@jgold85 the chase for food? Nibbling a branch? Fond memories with their pack?This puts it all in perspective - great job Mindy $SRPT http://t.co/FrJi1hmg17
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@ianestepan @23Chromz Jesus it has to be so maddening to be in that position- just waiting against the clock.I bet there are a lot of kinksters in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. I mean, cmon, some of those spells are just made for it.No one warned me that when I signed up for twitter I'd also have to get on vine, kik, mobli, and antidepressants.
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@PeterJohnsonYea look what buddy brought to work...oh boy http://t.co/fB4x95jRZ3Time for a fadeRon, you dirty dog http://t.co/AD7r3GLBIx
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@AngmilanoMilano @candacemonique lol
4/16
2014
@BecomingJennie hang toughBut who is the real woman in the US Airways pic? I'm asking for a friend. @PeterJohnsonYea@Pharaoness are they really calling her Peggy??@PeterJohnsonYea @TDUByourBUD @busylizards the sexy is strong@OhHeWantsTheP you mean good looking popular guys that aren't nerds at all? Sounds about right.@kjrmitch condolence Mitch. Sorry for your loss.Tesla under $190...because its an electric car, it's very quiet when it falls...$tsla
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin
4/15
2014
@MiniiG @USAirways just from the pic I could tell that wasn't Virgin Airlines.@given2tweet what if I just plan on buying shares to keep me warm at night?
4/14
2014
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